Religious FreedomPrime Minister John Howard once famously cut short a Cabinet Meeting so he could watch his son play sport. This reflects his most important goal in life; to build close relationships with his family. When asked recently how to do this, he said the Golden Rule is unconditional love. Yet this is easier said than done.
When young children do something wrong, many parents jump quickly (and angrily) to enforce their boundaries with punishment. Yet if this is not coupled with love, the child learns very quickly that ‘mum and dad will only love me when I’m not being naughty’. Instead, telling them ‘we love you, BUT you deserve to be punished’, minimises emotional harm, and builds the relationship.
A child’s report card is another test for the parents. Those quick to find areas that need improving, and slow to praise the child’s efforts, again declare that ‘mum and dad only love me when I’m succeeding’. This can lead to things like perfectionism, or fear of failure in young teens, as well as resentment down the track.
The final test for parents is the teenage years, where most people make mistakes they regret forever. Yet in their desire to protect their children, conditional love can again enter the ring. If our teenagers are not clearly shown that their parents still love them, even though they have disappointed us through dumb mistakes (or worse, sin), teenage hearts can be crushed forever.
Being a parent is full of traps and pitfalls. The path to success is to remember God’s love for us. For even when we were his enemies, God showed unconditional love for us in sending his only begotten Son. May we show this same unconditional love to our children.
Brendan McLaughlin
