Many people misunderstand Commandment Number 5, because they don’t know what it means to ‘honour your father and mother’ (Ex 20:12). To begin with, the command is not to love your parents; as some parents make this difficult through their poor, or even evil behaviour. So what does it mean to honour your father and mother?
For children, honouring includes obeying their parents. With responsibility comes authority. Just as the police have authority to enforce the law within the community they have jurisdiction (responsibility) over, so too do parents have authority over their children while under their care. God of course has ultimate authority, as he is responsible for sustaining us each day (Heb 1:3).
However, as children grow, their parents’ responsibility shrinks. A parent’s job is to raise their children to become adults; i.e. to fend for themselves. As a parent’s responsibility shrinks, so does their authority over them. It can actually be dishonouring for a grown man to still obey whatever his mother tells him, as it shows his parents have not raised him to make adult decisions himself.
While some cultures actually practice this, western culture often fails at the other end of the spectrum. Many westerners dishonour their parents through speaking poorly of them in public, or failing to extend to them an appropriate amount of care in their old age; which Jesus sternly condemns (Mark 7:10-13).
As Paul tells us, Commandment 5 comes with a promise; enjoying long life on the earth (Eph 6:2-3). Let us be ‘children’ who strive for this promise, and ensure we’re showing the proper honour to our parents.
Brendan McLaughlin
