In modern society, Commandment 7 is one of the hardest to fulfil. To begin with, the sexual revolution normalised sex before marriage. Western Christians now face enormous temptations to engage in the pleasures society believes SHOULD be enjoyed before marriage.
Then came the proliferation of pornography in the 70s, which was also normalised in newsagencies throughout the 80s and 90s, and exploded beyond control with the introduction of the internet. At the same time came romance novels; which are nothing more than ‘porn for women’, designed to titillate female readers through sexual escapism. Romance novels do to women what mainstream visual porn does to men; (i) it gives a distorted view of the opposite sex, that the average person cannot live up to, (ii) it gives a distorted view of sex, which WILL harm the marriage bed, and (iii) it damages your relationship with God.
So how can the mature Christian stay pure in such an environment? To begin with, it will take a strong level of self-control and humility. The self-control will lead you to set up firm boundaries; e.g. no late night TV, internet filters, and accountability software on your devices. Even more strength will be required during vulnerable periods. The humility will lead you to seek help from trusted friends.
Yet long term victory will only come from ‘the expulsive power of a greater affection’. We must continue to tell ourselves – until it sinks in – that porn cannot actually deliver the things it promises (comfort, intimacy); it only ever brings shame and loneliness. Then, we realise that not only does God promise much more than porn; he can actually deliver the happiness we crave in life.
Brendan
